Living With Myself

The following is my entry for the Lisabeesims June/July 2022 Simlit Challenge.

Dear Diary:

I’m not ready to talk about the things I saw today. Tyler and I just got back from Deadgrass Isle, and we had a good time at the museum, but… there was more. And I’m still processing all of it. I’m just shook. Really shook. And I’m going to need a minute.

Dear Diary:

I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept seeing those poor animals—especially the dog who almost died right in front of us. I felt so helpless. I know they’re just animals, but … what kind of attitude is that to have, when they feel pain and suffering just like we do?

I can’t believe the number of people who walk right past those poor, sweet furbabies every day and do nothing. The museum gets a lot of traffic. Dozens of people coming and going. But there’s no indication that anyone anywhere even notices all those sick and hungry animals, much less does a thing to help them. I don’t understand what’s wrong with people. I just can’t live with myself if I walk away from this without at least trying to do… something.

Dear Diary:

I don’t know how I’m going to tell Tyler what I did today. It set us back almost a thousand simoleons. He had no idea what I was going to do when I left the van this morning, but he’ll notice our account balance soon.

He’ll also notice the dog. Henry’s a small dog, but when there was no dog here one minute and then suddenly we have a dog, yeah. That’s going to draw some attention. Not to mention the fact that Tyler told me specifically that we could not get a dog right now because we don’t have room in the van. I mean, he’s my husband, not the boss of me. But… there’s a certain level of mutual respect that I have plowed right past. He will have every right to be angry with me. I just hope he doesn’t stay that way for long.

Dear Diary:

I love my husband.

He was angry yesterday when I told him. I knew he would be. And I don’t blame him. I would be angry, too, if we’d discussed something and reached a mutual decision, then he ran off and did exactly the opposite of what we’d decided together. But at least he understands that life and death consequence tinged my actions—that my failure to follow my own conscience would impact the literal survival of a living, breathing creature. Thank God such things matter to him.

He did some yelling, of course. And I did some crying. They weren’t crocodile tears. I’m very deeply upset by all of this, even though I don’t regret doing anything that I did.

When we’d both calmed down, he brainstormed with me about ways to rally our community, and how we might raise money to actually make a difference. I took one little dog to the vet yesterday, got him treated for a serious illness and neutered so he won’t keep making stray puppies, and that cost more than Tyler and I earn in a week with our vlogging and YouTube channel. There’s no way we can sustain this. But if I start a nonprofit and recruit the community to help, we might actually succeed. I’m going to talk with a Brindleton Bay veterinarian tomorrow. I’ll see if she’s interested in getting involved. I can’t wait to see how this is all going to turn out.

Hello Again Old Friends

Ten years. It’s been nearly ten years since I last posted on this blog. Almost everything has changed since then, and to be honest, I was stunned to find this website is even still live. But since it is, right now seems like a good time to add some new content.

I stopped creating machinima during a time when the tools we use to make it were changing and becoming more sophisticated, and as a result the hardware required to run it also became more complex… and more expensive. I’d walked away from Sims 2 machinima in search of a broader audience, one that didn’t depend on one game or a particular community. I experimented with 3D animation platforms like iClone and Daz, and I learned a great deal. But I could no longer keep up with the equipment needed for such intense renders, so after my gaming laptop drew its last breath, my interest in the hobby died with it.

In the intervening decade, I published three novels, ran a 501c3 animal rescue, and eventually moved from the U.S. to Costa Rica, where I now live. So I can’t say my time has been idle. This past year I ran into a person online who happened to be an avid Simmer and machinima creator, and it wasn’t difficult for her to lure me back to the game. From there, it was a pretty short leap back into storytelling, since that was always my favorite aspect of The Sims. Whatever gaps the gaming algorithms leave, a vivid imagination can easily fill. Add to this my familiarity with meshes, textures, and rigging, stir in a very powerful little program called The Sims 4 Studio, and voila—my interest was reborn.

No matter how keen my own interest in this might be, however, the question remains of whether or not I can create anything of interest to other people. What’s the point of machinima, anyway? Machinimas are silly little short films recorded inside the game engine of choice, in this case a simulated world of humans and humanoids that loosely parallels reality. They rarely appeal to viewers who aren’t also gamers, and to even further narrow the audience, rarely appeal to gamers who aren’t fans of the particular game used to make them. So why make them at all? Isn’t it a colossal waste of time to create something that so few people are ever going to watch?

I would tend to think yes, it’s definitely a waste of time—except when I trolled back through my old machinimas, uploaded a decade ago, I saw that some of them have racked up several thousand views. Well, well… someone somewhere has certainly seemed to enjoy my old creations. And indeed, my videos with the most views are the ones with a timeless theme. Topics that relate to bullying and the consequences of drunk driving have aged well. Serious subjects, tackled with animation, a sideways approach rather than direct confrontation… hmm. Maybe this old hobby of mine has some value after all.

These days, it’s not my intention to make any kind of political or social commentary on the state of humanity with my machinimas. We live in a time when people are staggering under the weight of the world. So instead, why not make something that gives people a reason to smile? Something a little silly, a throwback to the days when we didn’t live under the shadow of pandemics and wars and rampant violence… those times really did exist only a short time ago. I’m no longer concerned about reaching a “broader audience.” The people who enjoy this kind of lighthearted fare will find it, just like they found my machinimas from ten years ago.

I made different decisions this time, though, regarding production. In the past, I tried to divert the viewer’s focus as best I could from the game itself, using the characters as virtual actors in a simulated “real world” setting. In so many ways, that didn’t work as intended. My approach now is to fully embrace the game, even leaving some gaming elements intact for the characters to both talk about and interact with. I’ve even left some original “Simlish” in the machinimas, the made-up language that’s near and dear to all veteran Simmers. Yet I’m also incorporating fresh content, like a museum experience inspired by the Wieliczka Salt Mine tour I enjoyed in Krakow during my trip there in 2018. It’s highly stylized, of course, and my version is complete fiction. But it’s still fun, and it’s something that hasn’t been seen in The Sims franchise at all, ever before.

My comeback project is a series about vanlifers, a concept that is technically possible but not exactly intuitive in the TS4 gaming experience. It requires some clever creative content and loads of “movie magic,” but I’m working on Episode Three now and so far, so good. The characters have some really fun backstory that I’ve enjoyed exploring in side projects like Playerstate’s “Villain or Hero” machinima challenge and a more recent SimLit challenge that I haven’t finished yet. I’ll post my entry here on this blog once I have it ready. You can see the trailer for my vanlife series on YouTube at the link below. It’s short, so give it a watch!

Good News And Bad News

Several days ago I had a major software crash. No permanent damage to the software or my laptop, but I lost more than two weeks of work on my latest machinima project. As both a writer and a pathological talker, I find myself utterly without words to express my level of frustration. The sets, the characters, the animations. . .just gone. Corrupted file, irretrievable data.

What really sucked about the ordeal is that I did have a backup file. I almost always do. But whatever it was that caused the corruption had been saved into it, too, therefore–like the original file–it would no longer open. Lesson learned? Save in stages. Make backup copies of a project at every step of the way. This takes up a lot of space on the hard drive, so use an external storage device if necessary. But back up in duplicate. In triplicate. And make a fresh backup every time you add something new to the scene.

I’ve almost recovered now, both psychologically and in terms of progress. But it was a setback I didn’t need. Authors waiting for their trailers have been very patient with me. Voice actors eager for another credit to put in their portfolio have been patient with me, also. But everyone has a limit. I fervently hope I don’t learn where anyone’s is because of this.

On to brighter news: many of you know I’ve gotten involved with a snowballing movement called “The Independent Author Project.” This is a coalition of independent authors (those not represented by agents or publishing houses) who are determined to level the playing field when it comes to marketing and sales. I won’t go into all the details here, as they are clearly defined on the main website. The Independent Author Project

Everyone is welcome to join—traditionally published or self—but the focus is and always will be helping the independent writer achieve success. Various skills germane to editing, publishing, and marketing are offered for exchange or for a fee, and strong emphasis will be placed on elevating the reputation of indie books in general. This will require a shift of attitude on the part of many independents as well as a very focused, very driven effort to improve quality and put forth the best product possible.

One thing some indies are doing to create interest in the movement and promote their own books is a raffle and giveaway. You can find more information about it here . This site shows you the books offered as prizes and tells you a little more about the purpose of the giveaway. I’m a little surprised there isn’t more information about the books themselves or their authors. Still, a free prize is a free prize.

Happy raffling!

A Dog’s Life

Hi everyone. Today I have a special guest blogger–my friend Carol’s daughter Mariel. Mariel didn’t set out to be a guest blogger, she simply wrote an assignment for her AP English class. Yet her topic is so poignant, her writing so powerful, that it deserves to be seen by all readers who ever loved an animal. I hope you enjoy this stirring essay. Get the hanky. You’re going to need it.

One November day, a six-year-old collie surprised her owners with a litter of thirteen puppies. One died, but the other twelve were healthy enough to be advertised “For Sale” in the newspaper. I had just turned age five when our family set off one cold, snowy night before Christmas to claim a collie puppy. We arrived a mere 15 minutes after someone else claimed the flawless male collie Dad wanted to buy. All the big, perfect looking males had sold so quickly, there was only one male left, a clumsy little chunk with a shy personality, an odd white spot on his rump, and a crazy splotch of brown off-centered in the white ruff on his back. We hesitated. Dad admired the white stripe running up the puppy’s nose. Mom said we could name him Blaise for his blaze. Somehow the name made it official. All twelve puppies swarmed around our feet, untying our shoe laces with sharp little teeth. Max, the proud father, looked like TV’s Lassie, but he was big enough to topple me with one swish of his bushy tail. I was just about eye level with teeth, as Mom put it. Did we really want a dog? Max sniffed me and pushed his nose into my hand, inviting me to pet him. He didn’t smell too good. I was a little relieved to learn we had to come back in January instead of bringing one of these wild little furballs with teeth home that night.

My mom carried on about the perfect male we missed out on by fifteen minutes. She kept looking at the website that showed photos of all twelve puppies. One of the females looked absolutely perfect. Mom got one of her ideas. “The perfect toy for a dog,” she said, “is another dog.” Dad pretended not to hear, but the collie breeder mentioned that our Blaise had paired off with one of the females and they seemed to do everything together. Yes, the perfect little foxy girl was Blaise’s best friend­, said the seller. The magic word “discount” rattled Mom’s head, and somehow, she guilt-tipped Dad into believing that poor timid Blaise would freeze, or die of loneliness, unless we let his sister come home with him. I had visions of not one but two collies untying my shoes with their teeth and toppling me with their big wagging tails. Blaise and Bailey lived on our deck, in a little house Dad built for them. One spring day, we saw lion-sized footprints in the snow and realized they belonged to Blaise. About the time I moved into a bigger bed of my own, Dad had to build a huge doghouse and pen for our growing collies.

Bailey pranced around like a golden princess with a puffy white collar. She would run up and topple Blaise because he was clumsy, obese and easy to tip over. We tossed Frisbees, balls and other toys for the dogs to fetch, but Mom’s idea had backfired. The best toy for a dog is another dog, all right, and that meant the dogs didn’t want to play with me. But that was okay. I still wasn’t sure about these enormous furballs who would almost yank my arm out of my socket when I tried to walk them on a leash.

The following year, I was in kindergarten. In dog years our collies were seven, about my age. One year later, they were teenagers. We kept growing until Blaise and Bailey only came up to my hips. I was big enough to hold my ground and open my arms when two full-grown Lassies came running up to the school bus to greet me. Other kids on the bus would ask me how we could tell them apart, but to me it was obvious. The smaller, cuter dog, Bailey, would run up and tackle her big, goofy brother. She always pushed Blaise out of her way so we’d notice her instead of him. Mom was wrong about the perfect dog. Bailey always seemed anxious, sad, or worried that Big Brother was getting more food or more attention. The shy one, the chicken boy, seemed so human when he gazed into our eyes. He was the sweetest, happiest, gentlest, best dog ever.

We went on many long walks and rides in the van. We ran out of code words. If anyone put their shoes on, Blaise pranced in and out of the garage, singing his funny, high pitched whine that sounded like efforts to form words. If we drove off without the dogs, he and Bailey would wait for us like a pair of lion statues outside the front step. Blaise was always the first one up and running, standing right in front of the van so we had to brake for him, then slowly walking up the driveway to show off his herding skills. “I’m a collie. I know the way. Follow me, follow me, here is the door, the van goes right here.”

My brother Miles grew up and left home while the dogs were still strong and playful. Soon, their faces started growing gray. On walks, instead of yanking my arm out of its socket, they lagged behind me. Then came the day when Blaise couldn’t get to the top of the driveway. In dog years, he was older than my father. My sister Claire graduated early from high school and studied in Spain for a year, and I was old enough to drive myself to school now, but the canine welcoming committee (as Mom called them) didn’t come running like they used to. Blaise would groan and keep me waiting at the garage door for him to get his hefty body up and out of the way of the car. His bark got so quiet, he sounded like an old man in a nursing home.

Blaise seemed to know we were counting the days until Claire came home. He watched and waited. Sometimes he couldn’t get up and Dad had to carry him into the garage at night. Finally, the day came for us to drive to Chicago and get Claire from the airport. When we came home that night, Blaise didn’t get up and do his clumsy walk with the wagging tail to greet Claire. He just lifted his head and looked at her, then put his paw on her lap. We carried him into the house, even though he’d vomited all over himself. By morning, he had lost all control and smelled like death. This was the day of Claire’s golden birthday. As the day wore on, Blaise just lay there, refusing to die. “I’m here for you,” he seemed to say. “I will never leave you, no matter what. And if you leave me, I’ll wait here until you come back.” Mom said we had to drive him to the vet and set him free from his mission to love us all the days our lives.

We sobbed over pictures of him as a galloping puppy, the size and shape of a cement block. Unlike his perfect-looking sister, he never looked anything but happy and uncomplaining. From kindergarten to the end of my sophomore year of high school, from trike riding to driving a car, I grew up with a big fuzzy lion who was always there to greet me as if I’d been gone for a year, not a day. Every single day of his life, that dog seemed thrilled to see us. If we just said his name, he’d lift his ears and gaze at us as if there was nothing greater to ask of life than for us to notice him. Well, unless it was for us to say his name and hand him a chicken bone, or sneak him into the house when Dad was away.

Bailey took it surprisingly well, this new business of being our only dog, not having to push Blaise out of her way for food or attention. When I drive home from school, she’s still watching for me by the front door, but now she is almost as clumsy as Blaise always was. The two litter mates who matched like a pair of salt and pepper shakers were supposed to be here until I left for college. They weren’t supposed to grow up and grow old so much faster than I did. Pets should last longer than ten or twelve years. I still don’t believe Blaise is dead. I think he’s just gone, like Claire was gone, but he’ll be back again. Whenever we drive down the long driveway, I almost see him galloping over, tail wagging, overjoyed to see us. He’s always there, just around the corner, or on his dog bed on the garage floor. A flash of gold, like honey-onyx, with a creamy white ruff and shining brown eyes, will rise up from the green grass again. He is not dead. He’s just sleeping somewhere. No matter how many years may pass, I will still see Blaise rising up from the grass, tail wagging, showing us to the garage door. Hello, hello! Follow me, I know the way!

OUTLAWS Official Trailer

I just went live with Bill Weldy’s trailer for Outlaws. Yay! This production gave me the opportunity to experiment with many new techniques and choices. I am especially proud of the water effects I achieved and the actions scenes using iClone’s “reach” feature along with multiple particle systems. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, no worries. Just enjoy the end result!

OUTLAWS Official Trailer

Now I move right along to Wind Over Troubled Waters, the first novel in Edith Parzefall and Francene Stanley’s Higher Ground series. I am particularly excited about this project because it gives me the chance to work with diverse accents and ethnicities. Already–just from the few sketches I’ve done of the main cast–I’ve learned that lighting all these different skin colors will be quite a challenge. . .especially when they’re all onscreen at the same time. This is going to be a fun project for me, and I can’t wait to get started in earnest.

I’ll post some pictures from the set as soon as I have the main cast properly assemble–and clothed. They’re all naked as baby mice right now. LOL!

Enjoy Bill’s trailer!

Congratulations Vikas Wadhwa!

What’s the next best thing to winning a contest yourself? Seeing the most deserving competitor win! There is justice in this crazy world after all.

Vikas Wadhwa (Clear Box Studios) took first place in the Amazon Studios Seed Book Trailer Contest with his entry “Grinning Demons.” It’s a live action, beautifully filmed piece that captures every essential element of the novel and sells it convincingly. I told Vikas early on that if his video won, I would celebrate with him. And indeed I am doing just that! For all the awful gaming and bias that went on during the contest, I have to say that Amazon got it right when they chose the grand prize winner. Ania Ahlborn, you are one very lucky author!

I was born and raised in the Deep South. Vikas’ video opens with the line, “We’re Southerners.” Oh, boy! Did he ever get my attention with that one. And the rest of the trailer does not shirk when it comes to delivering on the promise of a “Dirty South.” With every frame, we are drawn deeper and deeper into a dark, desaturated world that oozes creepy from its pores, from willow branches dragging the ground to the dead-eyed children who stare right through the camera. Not to mention the fact that the young Jack Winter is a carbon copy of the adult Jack Winter, an attention to detail you seldom see even in big-budget Hollywood productions.

And the actress who plays Aimee Winter. . .oh, my goodness, does she ever sell her character. Actually, there isn’t a bad actor in the bunch, but I suppose it’s because she has so much screen time that I find her so memorable. Vikas, you did a heck of a job casting these roles. I predict great things for your future!

Now here’s the best part: Vikas Wadhwa is a NICE GUY. He’s very approachable, unassuming, and maintained his perspective and his professionalism throughout the entire fracas spawned by those SCAD students. This is more than I can say for myself; I completely popped a cork. But I usually do when bullies take over the playground.

I don’t know if Vikas is interested in producing more book trailers or if he has his sights set on the box office, but for live action filmmaking, I would love to channel some business his way. I know a lot of professionals in the writing community, but I don’t have any particular influence over them. Let me just go on record as saying that if I am able to afford a live action trailer for my own novel, Vikas Wadhwa will be the very first person I contact.

I also want to mention that after the contest, I received an email from Vikas that contained one of the kindest and most encouraging messages anyone could have sent. I won’t quote it here, but what he said to me validated every bit of effort I have put into building this niche for machinima book trailers.

Congratulations, Vikas! You deserved the win!

To see his winning video, which is now the official trailer for Ania’s novel Seed, follow the link below and make sure that Video #68 is active in the view window. I’m not sure how long this link will be active on Amazon’s site, but I will try to keep a working link somewhere on this blog.

Grinning Demons–Clear Box Studios

After The Contest–Amazon Studios And The Seed Book Trailer

Whew! All I can say is that I’ve never been happier to see a deadline come and go.

Midnight, August 31, was the closing date for the Seed Book Trailer Contest sponsored by Amazon Studios. I’m happy to report that despite the organized, persistent one-star attacks by SCAD students and their friends, my video (watch on YouTube here) survived this deadline with a 3.8 averate rating out of. . .well, seventy-one or seventy-two. I’m not sure which time zone Amazon was using, and ratings are still trickling in even now. I’m thinking that Amazon will use the averages logged at that date and time and discard more recent ones. But who knows. Amazon clearly didn’t honor their own rulebook in this contest from the get-go, so I have no idea what to expect with the scoring process.

Mine was not the only entry to be targeted. When studying the patterns exhibited by the worst vote-stacking offenders, it quickly became apparent that a specific strategy was in place to bloat Video #29’s average “just enough” to keep it higher than all others. Then, when another video’s average overtook it, several more supporters of #29 would swoop in with one and two star ratings to drag that competitor’s average back down. This was very consistent and very predictable. So other contestants and I began doing some digging and discovered a very tightly woven network of SCAD students (Savannah College of Art and Design) who all seemed to be working together on behalf of Video #29’s uploader. We put together some documentation using social media, blogs, and websites that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that at least thirty vote-stackers were affiliated with each other prior to the contest, and that some of them most likely participated in the actual production of video #29.

Is this surprising? Not in the least. What shocked and horrified me was Amazon’s outright denial that contest gaming was afoot. Despite repeated attempts by several participants–including me–to correspond with Amazon and provide them with proof of our claims, Amazon steadfastly refused to address any wrongdoing. I’m pasting here a copy of the last correspondence I had with Amazon Studios (to date), which was a canned response that did not acknowledge my request to submit the documentation we had collected.

“Hello Rhonda,

Please allow me to express my apologies for any frustration you may have experienced.

Thanks for bringing these reviews to our attention. We’ll read each of the reviews and remove any that violate our guidelines. Any reviews we find outside our guidelines will be removed within 48 hours.

Best Regards,

Adele S.”

My reply:

“Amazon staff can “read each of the reviews” all day long, but until you investigate the collusion perpetrated on your contest I don’t believe anything will be resolved. How Amazon can ignore or dismiss the blatant beat-down of other contestants administered by personal friends and schoolmates of (names removed) is baffling, especially when Amazon Studios consistently removed innocent five-star ratings from my entry (Ryan Sizer, Fae Hill, Gary Thompson, others I can’t remember.) Amazon Studios also retracted my right to vote for excellence (Video 39) by stripping my heartfelt five-star rating from him. He is aware of this, by the way. Also, my husband was deprived of his right to rate other contestants and systematically had his ratings removed. Naturally, his comment and rating was removed from my entry, yet “(name removed))” obviously a family member of (name removed,) has been allowed to remain in the ratings contest-wide. This demonstrates a clear bias on Amazon’s part, not just the fraudulent voting patterns among supporters of 29.

The prejudicial way this has been handled throughout the contest does not reflect positively on Amazon Studios. It appears that certain participants get a free pass for behaviors that others are penalized for. When one digs a little deeper, one learns that the “free pass” group is a collection of students from SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design,) exactly the type of creative souls Amazon Studios might wish to entice and recruit as permanent members of the community. This begs the question: is Amazon Studios part of the collusion also, or at least using “participation guidelines” to sift through potential talent and handpick future contributors? I certainly hope not.

A copy of this correspondence will be forwarded to a network of at least 200 professional screenwriters and authors, as well as to Ania Ahlborn herself. Each individual receiving it is already aware of the questionable circumstances surrounding this contest and many have expressed their concern to me personally. Winning this competition is not on my radar–never was. Building a relationship with Amazon and establishing a niche platform among other creative talent was the primary goal. Yet what I witnessed has appalled me. I expected better from Amazon.”

It bears mentioning that today, more than 72 hours after I registered my complaint, none of the ratings that clearly violate Amazon’s “participation guidelines” have been removed.

Will any of this be sorted during the final scoring process? Who knows. The only thing at stake is a $500 gift card for Amazon purchases. The $3000 winner will not be determined by ratings, but by an independent panel of judges and Ania Ahlborn herself. Were I among those judges, I would select any one of of several other entries over mine. I am not kidding when I say there were some really, really good videos submitted.

But here’s where the rubber meets the road: most authors cannot invest $3000 in a book trailer, and even that seems a little on the cheap side for some of the excellent videos uploaded late in the contest. I won’t argue that some of the more professional directors and filmmakers blew the wheels off my little machinima. . .but realistically, who can afford them? It is very doubtful that any of those filmmakers are looking to corner the book trailer market. They’re looking to make a name for themselves as. . .well, filmmakers.

And more power to them. I support their endeavors one hundred percent.

Still, somewhere along the way, the focus was shifted from “what’s best for the author” to “what’s best for the filmmaker.” In a contest like this one, perhaps that’s fine. But in the long run, none of the authors I know would tolerate the broad creative license so many uploaders took with Ania Ahlborn’s material. What set me apart from every other contestant is that they know filmmaking. I know writers.

As far as my video versus video #29, I can tell you that:

A) Not a single animator (that I know of) liked my machinima; most didn’t even recognize it as machinima, period.
B) Not a single writer (that I know of) liked video #29.

I could spout volumes of opinion about a bunch of digital arts students who have no clue what machinima is or what it’s for. But you don’t want to hear that. More germane to this blog is my take on all the professional writers who preferred my direct, true-to-the-novel approach rather than #29’s obscure interpretation of the novel’s synopsis rather than the novel itself. And if the writer is the client, shouldn’t their expectations trump all?

I never expected my machinima entry to be well-received. In fact, it performed far better than I ever would have hoped. Machinima has long been the red-headed stepchild of the 3D animation world. Traditional animators routinely scoff at its technology. I have no problem with that. I am infinitely more concerned with responses from the end consumer (the authors themselves and potential buyers of their novel who might watch its trailer) than I am with any reaction from digital arts students who only want to win prize money so they can upgrade their gaming system.

The good to come from this? Well, one example is the online magazine post I found in my inbox this morning. Among all the other articles that span everything from 3-D animation to movies to photography was a blurb about my machinima entry “mingling” with an Amazon contest. You could have knocked me over with a feather. This tells me that despite all the negativity surrounding the contest, my original goal of exposing machinima to the mainstream was not only met, but exceeded. Let’s not forget that author Ania Ahlborn will get a very professional, very well-done book trailer out of this whole ordeal, and even though it won’t be anything I produced, she’s still making inroads into the new world of e-publishing and internet marketing that many of us writers will someday tread. Go, Ania! You’re blazing a trail for all of us. 🙂

Amazon Studios–A Den Of Unprofessionalism

Rather than go into extensive detail, I’m simply going to blog verbatim my profile from my Amazon Studios account. I am sorely disappointed and disiullusioned by the gaming that has been allowed to dominate that contest.

“I want to go on record about the fracas surrounding this contest. I have never seen so much unprofessionalism in all my days, nor have I seen contest moderators that allow it continue for so long.

I feel that I am not in control of my entry any more. People are rating and commenting things that blow my mind. Does the negative campaigning bother me? Not so much. I’ve already gotten everything I hoped to gain from entering this contest. But so much ill will and discord…whether anyone at Amazon Studios wants to believe it or not, this does seem to all center around one particular uploader and a group of his friends from a certain art school. Too much proof has been presented to me to believe anything otherwise.

At the end of the day, we should all remember that this is about A NOVEL. An AUTHOR. Exploring new marketing and promotion options, NOT about whether machinima is better than motion graphics or vice versa. Everyone but me and a small handful of other participants seems to have completely forgotten this. Now egos are dominating the contest, and both public and private unprofessionalism (via Studio Mail) are setting the tone. Sadly, these are the impressions I will take back to the writing community, that this is the kind of dog and pony show you get when dealing with Amazon Studios.

Back to my profile:

I am a storyteller. A writer first, a machinima director second. I believe story trumps all else–no matter how eloquent the prose or how impressive the camera work, without a story, all you have is empty words and wasted frames.

So why have I, a writer at heart, gravitated toward machinima? Short answer: machinima is a type of 3D animation based on video game technology, which gives it it’s distinctive look and style. It’s a technology available to armchair animators and does not require extensive training in digital arts. Royalty-free software has been developed for use in commercial application. Workproduct derived from this software infringes on no gaming copyright and is owned exclusively by the creator. In other words, it’s the perfect visual platform for someone who does not aspire to be a professional filmmaker.

I discovered machinima as a storytelling tool in 2010, and since that time have been exploring its uses in the mainstream, not just in the underground communities that have enjoyed it for years. One thing I’ve discovered is its value in the production of affordable book trailers, which are fast becoming a marketing staple for all new novels, especially ebooks.

Most authors do not have an unlimited budget. This means that for most of us, lavish, live-action book trailers employing professional actors and slick editing chops are completely impractical. One must balance the cost of any promotional strategy against the profit it will generate. The efficacy of book trailers is still largely untested in the literary community, although it seems Amazon is beginning to explore them as a viable marketing tool. Still, very few independent authors can take the financial risk involved in creating one.

While today’s audience (myself included) has been deliciously spoiled by Pixar-type animation with its flowing, individual strands of hair and fluid motion capture, that technology is not currently available to most amateur filmmakers. Commissioning a book trailer made with this technology would rival or possibly exceed the expense of a professional, live-action project.

Is machinima right for every book trailer? Good heavens, no. Will everyone adjust to its peculiar brand of animation? Of course not. But based on reactions within the literary community, I can guarantee it’s right for some, and that many writers can envision their own characters “live” on the screen as machinima avatars.

Now, a word or two about myself–yes, I’ve written novels. No, I haven’t sought to publish them. . .yet. The publishing industry has been in upheaval for a few years and I’ve felt no pressure to entangle with it. Amazon brought things sharply into focus in 2011 with the announcement that their ebooks were outselling print copy. Much debate has raged in literary circles about the demise of traditional publishing and the “plague” of self-published ebooks. Personally, I think the kerfluffle amounts to little more than brick and mortar stores (and New York’s Big 6) hitting the panic button when they see their new bottom line.

But I digress. Although I have yet to put any real energy into seeing my manuscripts turned into novels, other works of mine have appeared in various trade publications and online magazines like Amarillo Bay. I’ve been heavily involved in and credited with the revision and pre-publication critique process of several novels including The Messenger, Exposure, The Story Makers, The Rest Of Forever, and Secret Confessions Of The Applewood PTA, all available for purchase on Amazon’s main site. I’m also an active machinima critic for Sims 2 and 3 derivative works, partnering with another adult machinima director to bring the art of storytelling to the hordes of kids who populate that community.”

Chronicles Of A Hermit

A few days ago, a dear Internet friend asked why I’ve been so “quiet” lately online. Well. . .it’s a long story and I won’t bore you with all the details. Let’s just say that I took a little hiatus from blogs, critique groups, machinima, and sorta-kinda from Facebook to take care of a few personal things.

Whew! And now I have. Taken care of things, I mean. I’ve raised a bevy of birds and seen them through a very successful release, finalized a video project I’ve been working on since earlier in the summer, helped my husband develop some cool graphics for a major printing job, and–even though I’d warned him I might not be able to do it–kept working on Bill Weldy’s trailer a little bit at the time.

My payoffs for re-prioritizing are this: last week I was treated to the sight of all four of my baby starlings together at the same time, sitting on the fence in my front yard. All four the same size, all in identical stages of molt–it had to be Melody, Shakey, Big Mac, and Chip. (The nail polish on their little toes has long since worn away.) Melody still drops by every day to eat food I leave out for her and occasionally brings a sibling. This time she brought two. And Chip–well, Chip still lives inside with me. He flies outside from time to time, stays gone a day or two, then comes back to sleep it off just like a partying teenager. That day he flew to the fence and joined his family for a few minutes–too bad I didn’t have a camera handy. That precious group pose didn’t last very long.

My next big payoff was being helpful to my hubby. He can be a tough taskmaster–for me to actually contribute in a meaningful way to one of his projects is actually a pretty big deal. The collaboration between the two of us resulted in some pretty cool designs, if I do say so myself. 🙂

Next, I have practically ALL the content I need for Bill’s trailer meshed and imported. All the motorcycles, the sets, the props. . .I should be able to jump headfirst into filming tomorrow and get this project completed in a matter of weeks. Maybe even days. We’ll see. Hang in there, Bill! I’ll have you a trailer finished yet!

Last but not least, I entered a contest. It’s a book trailer competition sponsored by Amazon Studios, and the prizes are significant. More than that, my credibility as a producer would compound exponentially if I win. Even if I don’t win, the exposure is terrific. It’s for the horror novel Seed by Ania Ahlborn–which is a good novel, by the way, if you like that sort of story. As picky a reviewer as I can be, I would probably give this one at least a 4.5 for character development alone, maybe even 5 stars. The plotting was pretty tightly woven, too. I would definitely recommend this book to friends without any qualms at all.
‘

The contest is judged by the author and there will also be a fan favorite. Viewer ratings and comments are a pretty big part of the package. So naturally I hope some (all?) of you will venture over to the Amazon Studios Seed contest page, watch my trailer, rate it, and leave a comment. My trailer is #21.

Word of caution, though–the website looks simple and straightforward, but it can be a little tricky to navigate. The trailers are compiled into a view list with a clearly marked tab, but each individual trailer has an identical “cover” so it’s hard to tell exactly what you’re about to watch. Mine is, of course, iClone machinima, and it begins with a car traveling down a wooded road. There is a tiny hyperlink below the viewing window that says “ratings and comments.” Once you click it, you then have to register with Amazon Studios, which is simple and requires nothing but establishing a username and password. But once that is done, I can’t find a simple way to get back to the ratings and comments page. My best suggestion is to simply re-click the URL here. Maybe someone more techno-savvy than me will have better luck with the website.

However, I’d sure appreciate your time and trouble if you choose to support me in the contest. My winning would be great, GREAT news for all of us taking a chance on machinima book trailers. If the Amazon community gets on board the idea, book trailers will almost certainly become a successful new cornerstone of the publishing industry.

First Look At Outlaws

I finally have some still shots from the Outlaws trailer to show you!

I’ve been working for about a month on this project for Bill Weldy’s novel, but I ran into some technical trouble with one scene that shut down production for a while. I knew when I built the set that rendering it would eat up most of my computer’s resources, but I had no idea it would completely crash my system. But it did–three times. Fortunately, the issue was related to physical memory and had nothing to do with my hard drive, so I didn’t lose any data. I was lucky. But I also feared I would never be able to produce a high quality scene that matched Bill Weldy’s vision, and would therefore be limited in all future projects when it came to the amount of detail I could render.

This scene was the culprit:

I’ve admitted that I’m a complete greenhorn when it comes to 3D animation, but every now and then I learn something that might benefit other beginners who stumble across this blog while searching for answers to their own iClone problems. So let me give you the basic specs for this scene. It’s comprised of 226,643 faces, 96 props, 5 avatars, 554 trees, 50 grass groups, 3 lights, 1 motion path, and a steady stream of keyframe animation. It takes 6000 frames for the camera to pan from one side of the valley to the other. With pixel shading turned on, it takes 10 minutes for the project file to open and 15 hours for the scene to render in HD.

In layman’s terms: it’s enough to send black smoke boiling from all but the most extreme gaming computers.

Anyone looking at the 2D snapshot posted here might not understand the complexity of this scene. Keep in mind that in video format, the water of the pond ripples and flows, the grass and trees flutter with the wind, and all the animals move. Well, except for the cows. You can’t see them here, but there are three of them, all extremely high polycount. It would be one heck of a workload for any machine. So at first I tried rendering one section at the time; for example, frames 1-800, then 801-1600, and so on. Unfortunately, when I pulled the .avi files into my video editor, the camera position was inconsistent between renderings and I couldn’t splice them together. Grrr, snarl! This is not supposed to happen with iClone! Each playback of every scene is supposed to be identical to the last! I have no idea what caused this, but I figure it has something to do with the complexity of this set and my poor, overworked graphics card.

Plan B. My friend Gary Thompson told me about filming in layers, where you hide certain elements of the scene, film what’s left, then greenscreen it together in pieces and parts. Well, because of the camera movement, I couldn’t make this work. For instance, if I hid all the trees, filmed the entire 6000 frames without them, then filmed the trees with a greenscreen backdrop, the parts of the trees that should have been hidden by terrain or other props were exposed and ended up blocking the scene as the camera moved around. Aaargh!

Finally it dawned on me. . .the fence. I have more than 60 clones of that prop in the scene, all of which reference both texture files and bump maps. (See my Feb 2012 post for more info on bump mapping.) Texture files are necessary, but bump maps create fine detail that is lost at such a wide camera angle, and they are an incredible drain on computer resources. Aha! I went through the file item by item and deleted all bump maps that I felt were superflous (more than 100 of them, before I was through) and voila! The scene rendered.

Yes, it took 15 hours. But the result seemed to please Bill Weldy very much, and that’s what it’s all about.

So I learned that even though bump maps are great for tight shots where each tiny pixel must be shaded, they are a detriment to larger scenes and can even cause systemwide memory crashes. Hoo, boy. Bet they teach this stuff in Digital Arts 101. Wonder if I should take an online class?

At any rate, I do have characters to show you. Bear in mind that Bill and I might end up making some changes to the Josh character, but in the meanwhile, here are the cyberactors currently cast as Josh Grant and his love interest Jolene:

And here is a promo shot I sent Bill, so that he can use it when marketing his novel:

For any of you wondering about my sweet little baby birds, I believe I can report 100% success across the board. I can never be sure, because I don’t know the ultimate fate of them all. But I do know Shakey went free about two weeks ago and I’ve since seen her traveling with a flock of other starlings and apparently doing quite well. I believe I saw Big Mac last week, too–at least those little toes looked green from where I stood. He, too, seemed happy and well adjusted, but he wouldn’t come near.

Melody, on the other hand, visits daily. Several times daily, in fact. So often that I leave the front door open in the cool parts of the day so she can come and go as she pleases. She lands on the ottoman where I keep a dish of her food, eats a few bites, then flies away again.

Chip was with me until yesterday. I had become convinced he would be a permanent housepet. Yes, he’d been outside once, stayed overnight and came back the next morning demanding to be fed. After that, he avoided open doors at all costs, even refusing to follow Melody outside when she would leave. But last night he took the plunge, and I haven’t seen him since. He’s completely weaned and I believe well-prepared for living in the wild. But is it selfish of me to wish he’d come back? I miss him. He’s quite the little character, and the house seems empty without him.